There is a strange confusion regarding the feeling of love and possessiveness. Mental health experts have looked into the ways humans feel, and the opposite sexes feel for each other, and have come with interesting revelations.
These confirm that love is not a weakness and nor is the gateway to feel possessive. It’s rather the positivity and brightness within you, which makes you love other people around you without feeling needy.
Hence, it can be said that true love is felt when you overcome the feeling of neediness.
This is not about falling in love or feeling love, but to overcome the weaknesses which comes in the path of selfless love and complicates feelings.
What is neediness
Needing an object or a person and realizing this craving to an extent where you think that the person or object is indispensable in some way and that you cannot enjoy or imagine your life without it is actually the feeling of neediness.
When you feel this kind of bonding and need something desperately, then the seeds of complications in feelings are sowed.
What is possessiveness
Possessiveness looks good and nice, and sometimes sweet enough in movies and romance novels. But in real life, it is actually that much ugly and brings in tension between people and couples.
When you grow possessive, you actually do this because of the fear of losing this. The fear of losing, the insecurities, all makes for this feeling of possessiveness, and thus makes neediness even stronger.
What is love
Love is within you. You already love yourself, and you would love more when you discover yourself every day, and always love your inner power, your self-esteem, your outlook towards life, and the very feeling of being alive and existing.
That’s love, and basically, every person is happy within as the source of happiness is not from an external object, but from the internal sense of well being. However many realize this and many don’t.
When you meet a partner, who may be your lover, friend, or anyone you mingle nicely with, you feel strong vibes and feel strong connections, which connect you with your inner love which makes you feel good.
The problem is that you get attached to the person or object by identifying it as the source if love, which is totally wrong. The source is still within you, and you feel loved and happy with the person or object just because of the vibrations of the person and your heart match.
All you need to do to resist yourself from getting possessive, selfish, and insecure in love, is to identify the love within you and let go any materialistic love for the object or the body.
Let materialistic love go, let the neediness go, and you would experience a better bonding with more confidence and self-esteem from within.